Category Archives: My Pictures


Ever since I found out about the new lung tumors earlier this year. My mind has been full of coherent and non-coherent stuff. I have trouble staying in the moment and I have also had a hard time with crying … Continue reading

11 Months now On TPN. Not doing so well.

It has now been 11 months since I started back on TPN. After a string of really bad bacterial infections they started to use my port for everything. Well I guess the port did not keep out the infection or it was never cleared to begin with.

About two weeks ago I got super sick again. I would have going to the ER the night before, but in all honesty I did not know how bad off I was. By the time my home health care nurse and her supervisor got to our apartment, I was not coherent and my fever was over 105. I was hallucinating and just not in good shape. My heart rate was erratic at best and I was floating in and out of consciousness. The nurse told my hubby it would be a huge risk for him to try to take me on his own. So they called 911 and asked for a special ambulance with cardiac equipment.img_20150807_105514

I am guessing it took them hours to bring down my fever and to get me stable enough to move me to a monitored room. One step down from ICU. After a few days I was moved to a regular floor and they put in a new PICC like for the TPN They wanted to take the port out right then, but my blood numbers were still not where they should so they were going to wait till end of weekend.

Then I found out they were going to do lung biopsy day after I got home the port removal next day. I kind of told them to go to hell. I was still/am still recovering from this horrid blood infection. I am sure my Dr.s are not happy with me, but I have good reason. The dr who was going to do the biopsy is not even board certified. That to me made NO sense. With my history with procedures and things going sideways fast. Just not a good idea.

I will see my regular dr today in hopes he can get me someone with the credentials to take the port out.

I have about 1/2 a dozen or so tumors in my lungs that need to be taken out. I am not happy about the fact that Kaiser is going to be doing it. I am scared, last time was just one tumor and the surgery went sideways at the end. This time we are dealing with so many more. It just scars the crap out of me.

So I should do a bit more of an update on the family front. PA started having seizures again. So she is back on medication. We are having to home school her and this is NO walk in the park. Shann was easier to home school by far that PA is. Oh My Heck this child is worse than her sister ever was.img_20150619_173119

We have tried it now for several months now and we need to go back to regular school. She just is not doing well and is so hard on me. I am spending so much more time in bed I just can not keep up. Then the house work. I keep falling so far behind I use to keep a very clean house. Now on a good day I can hardly just keep it picked up, let alone clean.

OH!!! The best news of all!! My oldest daughter Shannon and her Husband David are expecting. Due date is July. I am excited for then, but I am not sure if I am ready to be an Oma img_037988

No, I did not fall off the face of the earth.

Most of my friends and family know what has been happening since about September of last year. However those of you who may not know me so well I apologize if I just fell off the face of the earth. I have been having some major health struggles. I have been in and out of the hospital and had multiple surgeries.

I went into the hospital n October 26th of last year with simple stones in my bile duct. I say simple because for most people this would be taken care of with a simple ERCP surgery and then a day later you would be sent home. Well this being me it did not go so well. I ended up having 2 failed ERCP surgeries at one hospital over the course of a week. Then they transferred me to another hospital for a specialized ERCP with ultrasound. This was the beginning of a slew of mistakes and fumbles on the hospitals side.

After I got to the third ERCP surgery they noticed some fluid that had leaked out from my intestine and I was in a lot of pain. Normally doctors would monitor this situation for 24-36 hours before going in and doing more surgery just to see what might happen. After all it was not a huge amount of fluid that we were talking about. About 1:00am on Oct 30th a surgeon walks into my room after my poor husband who at this point had had maybe 4 hours sleep in a week had gone home to sleep. Says to me he is taking me into emergency surgery. I freaked out as he tells me if he does not go in now I will die.

I called my husband (he had just fallen asleep) told him what the doctor said and told him he had to come back NOW. He then in turn called my mom whom I had not been speaking to for a while (mostly over stupid stuff, but that it another story). My husband gets to the hospital just as they are wheeling me into surgery so he has no chance to talk to the surgeon to tell him he does not approve. I was so drugged I was in no way able to make any decisions.

I guess my mom showed up a little bit later sure she had made it too late and I was already gone (passed away). On the way to the hospital she had an overwhelming feeling she had lost me. As it turns out I did code on the table, but I came out of it. This happens in every surgery my blood pressure drops to nothing & my heart will stop (because of the carcinoid syndrome). Of course it is a little more complicated than that but that is the gist of it. I did come out of it ok. They ended up having to open me up from sternum to just below my belly button. I use the term “had to” loosely because as it turns out it was not needed.

I was in ICU for 36 hours then put into my own room. I think I was sent home a week later with a fever mind you. Over the weekend at home I get very ill again & less than 3 days later was back in the hospital with a 10.8cm abscess. I spent the next week again in the hospital and then sent home a week later with 2 drains this time to drain the infection from the abscess. This was just in time for Thanksgiving. We spent Thanksgiving at my sister’s house and had a wonderful time.

I think it was a week after than when I started to have problems yet again. This time food was not staying down was loosing more weight (I had already lost 30 pounds the previous 2 months). Found out they had damaged my pancreas & duodenum during surgery to the point where my new surgeon was skeptical if I would be able to function with out yet another surgery. Problem being this time was I was not strong enough to survive another surgery at that time. So my only option was for them to put in what is called a PICC line (like an IV only directly into an artery next to the heart) and gives me what is called TPN (IV nutrition). In other words I could have nothing by mouth except sips of water & medicine.

That was 6 weeks ago…. I am still on TPN with nothing by mouth because my body has not healed. Right now I am in a holding pattern. I watch my family eat meals, which really sucks. I want to eat. Everything smells wonderful looks wonderful yet it is all hands off. My surgeon and doctors are still unsure how well I will do if they go in and do the surgery that is going to need to be done. Let alone survive it. The after effects of this surgery are kind of scary as well. It is a very involved major surgery. They are not even sure which surgery I will need. I do know I will be in the hospital for a minimum of 14 days.

I have to say my husband has been a saint in all of this. I have not been able to do anything in several months. He has had to not only take care of the house and PA, but he has had to play nurse for me. I have to say he is darn good at it all. He has the preparation of the TPN and the changing of the tubing and everything down to a science. He is so good he flushes the ports for me with the saline and is so gentle and loving about it all. I am very lucky to have someone who is willing to do so much and make sure I am taken care of.

I wish I could say this was all over now and everything would be fine. However right now we are smack dab in the middle of it all. With so much still up in the air and the fact the doctors can not make up their minds I am having a hard time keeping it all together. I can honestly say this is one of the hardest things I have ever been through.

I am still around & fighting.

This is during my last hospital stay. The gown I am wearing was a gift from my good friend @LaurieMit and the zebra stripe is the ribbon for Carcinoid Cancer

This is during my last hospital stay. The gown I am wearing was a gift from my good friend @LaurieMit and the zebra stripe is the ribbon for Carcinoid Cancer

Cheese and Lettuce Delight

Tonight PA decided she was going to cook. I heard her in the kitchen making all sorts of racket. I called after her and asked her what she was doing & she said “I making Cheese  Lettuce Delight momma.”

So I went to see what she was up to because there was a lot of noise in the kitchen and this usually is not a good thing. Sure enough she had the lettuce and cheese out. She asked me for a plate, so I got one for her. Then I went to grab my camera, because this is always something to document.

The following is in her words (as far as the explanation under the photos).

“First put lettuce on plate”

“Then cheese on it”

“Have to put in bowl cause it messy”

“Stir it up”

“Now eat it mom. I make for you”

Of course she made it for me, after all it is green and she would never eat anything on purpose that was green. Not only because of the color but because of the texture. I have to give her credit. She did do a really good job. She also did a good job telling me what she was doing. I guess sort of a lesson in being able to explain something in steps. Something that is rather difficult for a child with ASD (autism spectrum disorder ).

Rediscovering photography thanks to my Blackberry

I have recently taken up an old hobby again just in a new way. I love photography always have, but since I do not own an actual camera I thought my days of “real photography” were over. That is until I discovered the camera in my Blackberry Style phone a while back. It actually takes some great photos that I have posted in the past. I am not savvy with photo shop & have been looking for something easy to use.

Then thank you to some awesome apps for Blackberry phones I can do some pretty neat stuff. I found this free app called Photo Studio: Editor and I have used it quite a bit over the past couple weeks. It can be quirky & temperamental at times (it kind of stalls out here and there), but over all I am pleased with it. I am just using the free version right now. I will be purchasing the expanded version this next month. I look forward to being able to do more with my photos & maybe start using some of the apps for Blackberry Playbook.


Below are some of my favorite photos I have put through the Photo Studio: Editor App.

Pumpkin-Zucchini Bread (whole wheat & lower sugar)

My husband loves sweets. We all do, but last year he was diagnosed diabetic. I wanted to continue to make the food he & I love. So I started experimenting with the recipes I had making them more diabetic friendly. Here is one of our favorite.

Pumpkin-Zucchini Bread

(low sugar & whole wheat)

Sift together

1 ¾ cup wheat flour

½ tsp. baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp salt

1 tsp cinnamon

2 tsp pumpkin pie spice


Cream together

½ cup sugar

¾ cup splenda

1/3 cup butter

2 eggs

1 cup pumpkin

1 ½ cup zucchini

1/3 cup milk (or soy milk)

1 tsp vanilla


Mix together both the dry mixture & the wet ingredients together.

Add 1 cup raisins

Put in a greased pie plate & bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes.

Poor kid…Fell asleep with her nebulizer going..

I have no idea how she can sleep after getting all those steroids & albuterol. I feel so bad for her. This is her life…She’s a trooper…