Understanding Cause & Effect


One thing I have never understood is people who ask the same question or do the same thing over and over, expecting a different answer or result each time. It’s always bothered me to a point where I would lose patience. In recent years, I have had to learn how to deal with this without letting it bother me. In fact, I have had to rethink how I react to allot of situations since PA has come into our lives.

I will be honest with you; this has not been an easy thing for me. I am a very literal person. I am also OCD in a lot of ways. Much of my life things have been black and white, and there has always been a right way and wrong way to do things. This is partly how I was raised and partly because, I am a bit quirky. I have my rituals and I am very aware of how long it should take to do things. I am a bit of a control freak.

Some days I just watch PA and wonder how she processes things. I wonder if she learns from things she does. For instance: when PA dumps something out, she is surprised at what happens. She has done this hundreds of times. It’s almost like she expects a different result. There are times I wonder if she is doing this because she really doesn’t understand what will happen if she dumps out her cup. Is she doing it because she feels she has to do it? Is it more of a compulsion? Every time she does this it seems to be a genuine surprise, like every time is the first time. Does she understand cause & effect? I am thinking maybe this is a foreign concept to her.

Another example would be when she walks in or out of a room. She will hit the wall with her arm, hand, or shoulder and she always whines and says it hurts. I have a hard time understanding how she can do this time after time and still see it like the first time. It goes back to how does she think, process & learn? Does she really expect a different result every time? She knows it is going to hurt. Why does she do it? Seriously, when I ask her about it I get a blank look. I ask her if she thinks it was a good idea and she says yes. I truly don’t think she understands the difference between yes & no yet. I have tried to talk to her about this a few times. Maybe she is too young to understand, but she is 3 ½ now, so you would think she would have some concept of cause and effect.

I am not ready to give up on her. I just have to be sure to always have an eye on her. If it is too quiet and PA is nowhere in sight, the hunt is on. Our mission is to figure out what she is doing. Since she was able to scoot around, I have had to keep my eyes on her. I have said this about her before. She is my Ninja child. I fully understand that you have to do this with every kid.

However, at some point with most kids, you can stop worrying about so much, just because they have out grown the action or better yet -learned the lesson.

I don’t think I will ever understand why PA has to learn the same lessons over and over. Or why she doesn’t seem to understand cause and effect. I hope she will learn these things. I would like to not have to watch her like a hawk every waking moment.


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